Master the Interview...Not Just For the Job

We are constantly being interviewed. Those first few moments of an interaction are especially vital. We are sizing each other up. Consciously and unconsciously, we are deciding how this interaction might go. We are looking for some kind of connection, whether it's with a fast-food clerk, a hotel clerk, or my boss's boss.

I have lost count of the number of times I've asked someone what they do and been met with the answer, "Sales." Full stop.

How do I respond to that?

At one extreme, they could launch into a long-winded elevator speech that rings of "me, myself, and I" (for me, the equivalent of projectile vomiting). At the other, they could do what one elevator companion once did with me and begin with a question:

"You know those plastic clamshell containers they use in grocery stores and restaurants for takeout? That's what I sell... and has that industry changed! How about you?"

Nice. Now we have the start of a conversation.

A friend told me that air marshals, when asked what they do, want to avoid conversations at all costs so they can stay alert. Their answer?

"I sell life insurance."

Not particularly wrong (!) but definitely a conversation killer.

So, what do you do? Who do you do it for? And what's new in your world? A one-word answer rarely creates a connection. A thoughtful answer, one that invites curiosity and conversation, often does.

Curiosity Before Judgment

We've all been there. Someone at work rubs us the wrong way. Maybe it's a colleague, a team member, or even our boss.

When that happens, it's easy to turn inward—to feel resentment, disengage, or even start polishing our resume. But what if there was a different approach?

What if, instead of focusing on why we don't connect with someone, we became genuinely curious about them? Where did they learn their values? What experiences shaped their perspective? What are they trying to accomplish?

Alfred Adler famously encouraged us to "see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart." When we do that, understanding begins to replace assumptions, and relationships have a chance to grow.

In this short video, I share why curiosity is often the first step toward stronger professional relationships and better leadership.

Watch the full video to learn how being genuinely interested in others can transform the way you connect, communicate, and collaborate.

Let's Talk About That

When an opinion comes my way, I can choose to say the words, “Let’s talk about that.” Especially when I am confronted with an opinion I disagree with, or when I just fell into a meeting with a highly vocal, opinionated person… and there are many!

A way to respectfully re-route the conversation may be something like, “I like the word _____ you used. Would you like my take on that?”

Many will talk on and on and on without a seeming glimmer of engaging others. (The author of the book The Sparrow wrote that those who go on and on and on ought to join the support group, On and On Anon!)

One of my colleagues, on long, boring drives that can easily make him sleepy, tunes into talk radio stations he disagrees with. He awakens from his slumber… he just doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it!

How do you redirect a conversation when it starts to feel one‑sided?

#CommunicationSkills #ActiveListening #Leadership #Conversations #EmotionalIntelligence

Special Voices

Steve Cathan, formerly of CBS Radio, was recently interviewed about his many years on air. For those of us in Chicago, his voice was a familiar part of daily life, delivering the news at the top of the hour on our local station.

Listening to him reflect on his career, especially in light of the end of CBS Radio, made me realize how much I had taken that steady, distinctive voice for granted over the years.

I’ll miss hearing him.

Are there any voices in your life that have left a lasting impression?

When Opposites Aren’t Opposed

Two things can be true at the same time, even when they seem like opposites. I once heard this from a policy expert when a reporter was trying to pin him down on a political issue. How much of our lives are framed as “this or that,” “either/or,” “yes or no,” or “right and wrong”? These polar opposites may not need to be so rigid. Perhaps two things can exist together. Maybe we can talk with our neighbors without falling into a “me versus them” mindset. Perhaps we can both exist together—not in spite of holding different beliefs, but simply because we can.

What about you—are there two things that can be true at the same time, even though at first blush they seem to be opposites? Alfred Adler suggested that opposites don’t attract—complementaries do. It’s similar to folding your hands together: each finger may appear opposite, yet it complements the others, creating strength.

Lead With Excitement Not Nervousness

Early in your leadership journey, it’s easy to let nerves take over. But consider this: nervousness centers on you, excitement focuses on others.

Focus on the audience, the board, the people depending on your perspective. You were invited into that room because you have something of value to offer.

Take a minute to watch this short video, it might change how you walk into your next meeting.

Trust Your Intuition

“Your gut is your second brain.” — Ellen Muellenberg, JD

At a recent gathering of Medical Staff Specialists (the often unheralded professionals who help safeguard patients from unqualified physicians), Ellen urged us to listen to that inner voice. Call it intuition, an inner expert, or simply a “hunch”...that quiet signal that something deserves a closer look.

How many troubling headlines might have been avoided if someone, perhaps you, had raised a hand and spoken up? If they had voiced that feeling of discomfort, that moment of doubt, that instinct that something wasn’t quite right?

Too often, nervousness, peer pressure, fear, or shyness silence this critical part of us, to the detriment of others…and sometimes, to tomorrow’s headlines.

I teach and coach emerging leaders to lead creatively, challenge the status quo, and move beyond the “same old, same old.”

Do You Have a Trusted Colleague?

Do you have a trusted colleague, someone you can reach out to when you need to think out loud? Not to complain, but to share what’s really going on and get a wise, thoughtful perspective. In this short video, I talk about why having that kind of person in your life matters more than we often realize, and how those conversations can make all the difference on both the good days and the hard ones.

From Routine to Purpose

Is this truly your routine, or is it rooted in a deeper value? Why do you do what you do each day?

It’s easy to fall into routines on autopilot. Over time, we continue them with little awareness. Instead, we can pause and reconnect with the larger purpose behind them: how it benefits us and others, and why it matters. Bringing our routines back into conscious awareness helps us rediscover their meaning and renew our commitment to them.

A Better Way to Begin Your Meetings

“One small step…” is the now famous quote from our first time on the moon. It can also be a great way to begin a meeting, especially when times are tense. Here is the quote that works for me: “Since our last meeting what have you noticed that’s been better or different.” Allow some silence and then take each person’s contribution. You can use “What was the small step that got us there?” Open a meeting with “How’s everyone doing?” and you will likely open a hornets’ nest of issues. But ‘better or different’ and recognizing ‘small steps’ of movement will likely put those at the meeting on the path to solutions or at least “We are on track…”

Me, Myself and I

Recently I was listening to a homily where the priest offered a simple truth: our everyday trinity often becomes me, myself, and I. That message made me think about how many times we center ourselves in a meeting or presentation instead of the people we're trying to help.

When we intentionally ground our work in shared values, both personal and organizational, we clarify what matters most for our audience and become more useful to others.

The video below explains how to get back to the trinity that actually serves our teams. What would change if your next message focused more on others and less on I, myself and me?

Before You "Post," Pause

“Think before you speak is an age-old, often‑repeated parental reminder; now it might be think twice before you write online—then don’t, especially if you feel the world really needs your opinion.

I often hear others say, ‘In my opinion…’ and I wonder if the world really needs that, especially when it comes to hot‑button issues. I saw a message online: ‘I probably shouldn’t say this but…’ Yes—correct—you might consider keeping that one to yourself. Or the ever‑famous, ‘I know I’ll get some blowback on this…’ or ‘This may be politically incorrect but…’ I’m not sure the world needs anything that ends with ‘but…’

I’d be interested in what all of you think about this. When do we actually need the personal opinions of others? Chime in below.”

Increasing Your Energy Before You Present

I recently gave a presentation on presentation skills, and there are two things I always come back to: executive presence and the ability to present to executives. Those two elements shape how people experience you long before they remember a single slide.

Most of us walk into a presentation thinking about our PowerPoint, how we look, or what we hope the audience will take away. All important. But there’s another layer that changes everything: your energy.

I use a simple practice that helps me show up with clarity and intention. Before I present, I write out what I want participants to walk away with. Then I write a short “testimonial” as if a participant were describing my session afterward. That exercise alone raises my energy and sharpens my focus.

You can use the same approach in your meetings, even when you’re not leading.
-What do I most want to say in this meeting.
-What would I want someone in the room, or even my boss, to say about my contribution.

Energy changes delivery. It changes presence. It changes how people hear you in a presentation, a team meeting, or even a family conversation. Try it and see what shifts for you.

Finding the Balance in What We Share

“In conversations, we all tend to lean one way or the other. Some of us share everything and overwhelm the other person. Others hold back so much that people have to pull information out of us.

In this video, I talk about what it looks like to land in the middle, to disclose just enough. If you want to communicate with more clarity and intention, this one’s worth a watch.

Choosing the Pace That Serves You

I’m making 2026 business travel arrangements and for as many as I can, I’m not rushing home in rush hour or worse on the red eye but rather taking that extra night with a mid-morning return. I’ll have a dinner or two with a nearby friend or past customer, take a walk, write my notes, maybe even be free to have dinner with my client. Yep, that’s what I’m going to do in 2026!

The Power of a Three-Minute Message

In high school, one of my teachers was a priest who founded the chapels at Midway and O’Hare. Despite being deeply spiritual, his homilies never lasted more than three minutes—he used a clicker with a timer and stuck to it.

It makes you wonder: how much clarity, focus, and impact could we create if we treated our updates, reports, or requests the same way?

Instead of talking at people, what if we shared the essentials… and then paused long enough for them to respond

?Watch the short video and see how a three‑minute mindset can change the way we communicate.

Metaphors and Stories

• “Think of it as….”

• “Sort of like…”

• “It is as if….”

• “I remember this one time when…”

• “I once noticed…”

• “One of my professors remarked that…”

In your meetings and presentation keep using metaphors and stories to keep the audience in alignment with you, to keep them interested, and to turn your expertise into useful information. One of my attorney clients said with some exasperation, “How many ways can I explain the term ‘negligence’?” To all of us non-lawyers it is worth the effort. Your audience will always be polite and nod in agreement but retain nothing! So, check at the end of any technical explanation with the simple and powerful, “I’m trying to get better at this. Please tell me in your own words what you think negligence is.” You will be amazed how clear you were…or maybe you’ll have some clearing up to do!

Advice From The King

A long-ago voice on radio and television, the preeminent interviewer Larry King, wrote: “Nothing I say today is going to teach me anything. So, if I am going to learn I must do it by listening.” Now the ironic part of this quote is that Larry was married eight times, twice to the same woman. So, this advice worked at work, maybe less at home? A quick check-up, how well do I listen at home and with friends like I listen to my KOL, my colleagues, and my boss? Remind myself: Everyone loves hearing a good listener!

Using Your Native Language

For this week's Wednesday Rewind, I talk about "Using Your Native Language" to connect with others. What strategies do you use to connect with colleagues, neighbors, friends or when meeting new people?

Teaching at Institute of Pastoral Studies - Loyola University Chicago gives me a worldwide view of life with students from Korea, Poland, China, Spain, South America, India, Pakistan, and even from Atlanta, Georgia! As I teach, I’ve learned to use their native language to teach me more about our English vocabulary. I recently asked the students to put the word “hunch” on the board in their native language and then to define it. None defined it as “hunch” instead painting a video for us of that word in action. I asked a student from Thailand to write “empathy” on the board in Thai…it was a very long word! When asked to define it, she thought for a moment and said, “Sitting on my grandmother’s lap after dinner before the fireplace.” Perfect! With your international colleagues or neighbors try using their language early and often to enhance your English understanding. The powerful world of words, images, metaphors, and inclusion awaits.

Is it Necessary

When we bought our first home, we did all the things first time home buyers do: We bought stuff! Lawn mower, rakes, shovels, air conditioner cover for winter (this was a few years ago!), and a new this and a new that. My next-door neighbor who was much older and wiser when he noticed or I told him of my newest purchase always said the same thing: “Is it, was it, necessary?” This became a kind of motto for me in those early years and saved us a bit of cash. Today I still ask that when I’m preparing for a presentation or a facilitation of a pharma team. How is this plan, this PowerPoint slide, this activity…how are they necessary? Our audiences the ones within our teams and companies or our KOLs are much, much more discriminating these days with the value we present. They are, as Nido Qubein, President of High Point University, the value interpreters. When we focus on us alone, we exclude the ones who will know the real value…the audience. Every one of them is asking, silently of course, “Can you help me solve my problem? Can you improve my condition?”  Consider next time to strip down that PowerPoint deck and make room for what is necessary and for the audience to tell you what is useful.