“Well, here’s my opinion about that…”

“Well, here’s my opinion about that…” Do you ever feel your shoulders tense when you hear that phrase? I do!

I’ve noticed I have a visceral, negative reaction to self-described “opinionated people.” It’s not that I don’t value strong perspectives—quite the opposite.
But when someone leads with “Here’s my opinion,” it often lands as competitive, rigid, or even dismissive. There's an undertone of superiority that can shut down meaningful conversation before it starts.

What’s the alternative?

- A thoughtful question.
- An affirmation of someone else's experience.
- An invitation to explore the topic together.
- A willingness to be curious—not just right.

Of course, this could just be my own opinion (see what I did there?). But I believe that in a world full of noise and quick takes, how we share matters as much as what we share.

As leaders, colleagues, and humans, we always have a choice: Do we want to be right, or do we want to be connected?

What’s your experience with “opinionated” communication? Does it spark dialogue—or defensiveness?

Light Touch

Sometimes, a light touch is the most powerful way to communicate—especially when the stakes are high or emotions are running strong.

Watch this short video to learn how a softer approach can create more connection, not less.

A simple but telling question

Ask those who know you best (at work and at home) a simple but telling question: “What do I do well and what is one thing you might suggest that I consider doing more (or less!) of?”

We do this at the end of every semester with our students at Institute of Pastoral Studies - Loyola University Chicago. Everyone answers everyone including students telling professors. It is eye opening and encouraging.

We are already noticing it and thinking about it, so why not help another by offering it?

Use metaphors and stories

·        “Think of it as….”
·        “Sort of like…”
·        “It is as if….”
·        “I remember this one time when…”
·        “I once noticed…”
·        “One of my professors remarked that…”

In your meetings and presentation keep using metaphors and stories to keep the audience in alignment with you, to keep them interested, and to turn your expertise into useful information.

One of my attorney clients said with some exasperation, “How many ways can I explain the term ‘negligence’?” To all of us non-lawyers it is worth the effort. Your audience will always be polite and nod in agreement but retain nothing! So, check at the end of any technical explanation with the simple and powerful, “I’m trying to get better at this. Please tell me in your own words what you think negligence is.” You will be amazed how clear you were…or maybe you’ll have some clearing up to do!

Truly listening to the customer

I was recently reminded how crucial it is to truly listen to the customer and focus on answering their questions—without offering unsolicited advice. Watch this video to learn why understanding your audience is the key to building trust and delivering real value.

Personal connections

Watch this video to explore the importance of personal connection and how it can make all the difference.

Show appreciation

How do you show appreciation? I was recently reminded of the impact of truly expressing gratitude—it goes a long way!

Watch this video to learn more about meaningful appreciation.

Heading to a conference?

Heading to your next conference? Resist the urge to stick with your usual crew! Step out of your comfort zone, introduce yourself to someone new, and see where the conversation takes you. You never know what opportunities might come from that first hello! Watch this video to learn more...

Getting people to remember your name

Want people to remember your name? Train them to do so! It’s easier than you think. Watch this video to discover how.

How we deliver our words

What's the REAL challenge for you here?
What's the real CHALLENGE for you here?
What's the real challenge for YOU here?

Did you notice how the emphasis changes the meaning entirely? How we deliver our words can shift someone’s perspective—or even our own. Sometimes, the right tone and focus are all it takes to unlock deeper insights. Watch this video to learn more...

Transform your scripted message

I just watched someone transform a scripted message into something personal and engaging—it was fascinating to see! It’s a simple technique we can all use. Check out this video to learn how.

Vertical or horizontal plane

Are you operating on a vertical or horizontal plane? Alfred Adler spoke about superiority vs. inferiority—challenging us to consider if anyone truly holds more value than another. When we see everyone as equal, we navigate life and work with a fresh perspective. Let’s aim to build relationships that reflect respect and equality. Watch this video to learn more!

Confidence is key

Confidence is the key to truly serving others. It’s about believing in yourself, your skills, and the value you bring to the table. When you’re confident, you’re not just focused on yourself—you’re focused on how you can help others. In this video, I share practical tips on how to project confidence during meetings, so you can engage more effectively and make a lasting impact.

What are you like as an audience member?

We often critique presenters, but what about the audience? Next time you're in the audience, consider this: How can you show up fully? Your engagement, attention, and energy are just as important to the success of the experience. Watch this video to learn more and let me know what you think!

Immediate responses for slow thinkers (like myself!)

Ever been caught off guard by someone saying something uncomfortable and felt like you needed more time to respond? As a slow thinker myself, I've found that taking a moment to pause and gather my thoughts can make all the difference. Instead of feeling pressured to respond immediately, try these approaches that I share in the video below. Let me know what you think!

Just ask!

It's easy to fall into the trap of making assumptions about what our colleagues or teams need without verifying. But are these assumptions accurate? Are we truly delivering what's necessary to support their success? The solution is simpler than you might think: Just ask! Watch this video to learn more...

Professional integrity

Recently, I had the privilege of witnessing an individual demonstrate exceptional professional integrity and skill in their field. It was a powerful reminder of the impact that dedication and mastery can have, not just on the quality of work produced, but on inspiring those around them. Watch this video to learn more and let's discuss how we can all apply these principles to enhance our work and inspire our teams.

Your inner expert

Notice your inner expert by listening to your audience. I noticed something about a group I was working with recently that hit me in the face, and in the heart.

After my presentation, a few came up to me to thank me and then they went into an extended description of what I did that apparently was especially meaningful to them. I was touched and I discovered a bit of what they experienced from me, my inner expert.

It reminded me to do the same when I am in the audience. A simple “Thank you” is certainly very nice. However, a “May I tell you what you did that helped me, touched me, encouraged me…?” is much, much better for the one telling and the one receiving.

The horizontal level

Do you live and work on a vertical level with those ‘above’ and others ‘below’? Some marriages are like that. Some corporate teams operate like that too. The one on ‘top’ as somehow superior to the others. Some even relish this superiority. Those ‘below’ understand that this set up is meant for obedience and conformity, to be careful, stay in line, don’t rock the boat.

Other teams operate on a horizontal level: with each person being respected as ‘social equals’ who are contributing to the whole. Not all are the ‘same’ but all are contributing with collaboration and mutual respect.

How is it where you live? Where you work? In your family of origin? What I find interesting about the vertical set up is that the real power belongs to those below: if they move, guess who falls!?

Your statistics need to have heart

When you present your facility and its people to the Board of Directors, your city council, or your state representatives remind yourself that they will remember the feeling you portray, not the content alone. Your statistics need to have heart as well as head in them.

Not only stories about patients but perhaps people telling the story, willing patients and families, doctors and housekeepers, nurses and maintenance. What would it be like to have them present? Interview them, bring the face and feeling of your place to the meeting. This is what they will remember long after the meeting is over. This brings excitement about your place to your audience’s understanding.