Write Every Day Even When You Don’t Know What to Say

A young Jerry Seinfeld interviewed a much older comedian George Burns about how he came up with new material. “My team of writers and I meet for two hours a day and write.” It seemed to dawn on Seinfeld that comedy is written and worked on, it is not waiting for a spontaneous chuckle to emerge. Some comedians work for years on a “bit” to make sure that it works the way they want it to. Jay Leno said the secret to all comedy is in the editing: less is more. My sister wrote 70 books, not of comedy though some were fun, and she told me she wrote for four hours a day even on days when she had nothing to write! As an MSL, I’m going to suggest you do the same thing. Write every day, maybe not for four hours, and not with a team of writers, but every day. And what to write? Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Define your job for a bright ten-year-old… Challenge yourself with a five-year-old.

• Tell us about your favorite grad school or professional schoolteacher. Challenge yourself to speak about the worst one with charity in your words.

• How would you run the company you now work for? Challenge yourself with your last boss or company without any resentment.

• Write some opening paragraphs that will engage your KOL. Challenge yourself to answer back as the physician who loves or hates these encounters with you.

• Write your career path even if being a forest ranger is not in the cards right now. Challenge yourself by writing about what you really, really want to do with your life.

It is in the writing that you can be thinking and in the thinking, you will become a more adept listener and storyteller…and listener! One of my doctor friends, an intensely smart person, drops me stories written on his phone. Some long, some short. All somewhat emotional and engaging. Plenty of stories. You have plenty too.

Mic Drop Wisdom: Say It, Then Stop

Mary Doria Russell, author of “The Sparrow,” a popular novel among my university classes, said that people who go on and on and on and on should join the support group “On and On Anon”! Whenever you’re giving a short or long presentation and you know that what you just said was it… Stop! You are done, that’s all. Sit. Trust your inner self and let it be. Don’t belabor or repeat the it, just let it linger in the air. You’d made your point, enjoy! Take your applause with humility and grace and sit down. Let whoever is in charge ask for “Any questions?” All you need to do is say that magic of wisdom that came from within you and sit.

Presence Over Perfection: Rethinking How We Show Up at Events

Ever walk past an exhibit table where the only thing moving is a scrolling phone screen? I’ve seen it so often, and it got me thinking. In my latest video, I share my take on how to shift from passive to present when you're at an event: how standing, making the first move, and having a clear, personal pitch can make all the difference. It’s not about being flashy—it’s about being approachable and memorable. 

Weathermen and Suits (and glasses!)

Lee Goldberg is the ABC meteorologist in New York and a frequent contributor to ABC World News Tonight with David Muir. If you happen to catch his reporting, he has many distinct things about him that make him, well, distinct! He is immaculately dressed to the 9’s. Different each time but completely put together. His glasses often change too and of course are perfectly paired to the wardrobe. And he reports outside. Who could have thought? A weatherman outside! So what? Well, in a world of reporters, weather and otherwise, he is a distinctive statement. He doesn’t make a statement, he is one. He is his own trademark. And a memorable one at that. And then there’s his smile. He signs on with one and signs off with one. He seems like that guy next door who is nice and seems to have his act together all the time… And is so nice! Makes me wonder when I look in the mirror for a big presentation or meeting, am I distinctive? Is there something memorable about how I look? Am I memorable?

The Costanza Principle: What If Doing the Opposite Is the Key to Change?

So, this time, let’s turn the tables… You tell me! In a Seinfeld episode, George Costanza relayed that every decision he has ever made in his entire life was wrong. Jerry suggests that if every decision is wrong, what if he did the opposite? He even orders a different lunch (“Goodbye tuna on toast, coleslaw, and a cup of coffee; hello chicken salad on rye, untoasted, and a cup of tea!”) which catches the attention of a certain someone. Of course, George goes on to successfully introduce himself as unemployed and living with his parents to a woman he would have previously considered out of his league. Her response with a warm smile, “Hi I’m Victoria!”  So I’d like your thoughts… What makes people (or you!) successfully change? How do people make their diets stick? How do we finally decide to comply with our physician’s recommendations? What makes us change our parenting or spousing way of interacting? How do we stop being arrogant, jerky (same thing I guess!), indecisive, unquestioning, unprepared? What do you think is the key to change? Answers below please!

Your Slides Are Talking Over You—Here’s How to Fix That

Ever find yourself cramming too much info on your slides? We've all been there. But here's the thing—if your audience is busy reading, they’re not really hearing you.

Watch my latest video to learn why embracing the “less is more” approach in PowerPoint can transform your message. Fewer words, more impact. Let the visuals support you, not compete with you.

Your Slides Are Talking Over You—Here’s How to Fix That

Ever find yourself cramming too much info on your slides? We've all been there. But here's the thing—if your audience is busy reading, they’re not really hearing you.

Watch my latest video to learn why embracing the “less is more” approach in PowerPoint can transform your message. Fewer words, more impact. Let the visuals support you, not compete with you.

Hope Is Not a Strategy—But It's Still Essential

I gave my wife an orchid five years ago. Did I say 5? Yes! It bloomed once and then just sat there for the next five years. We watered it a bit and we actually forgot about it most of the time. Well, this year it decided to reward us for our passiveness! I wondered what took it so long, what it was thinking, why it was waiting, did we make it suffer… You know, the usual unanswerable questions of life! Now the obvious meaning here is that it is OK to wait, all good things will come to pass in the right time, don’t hurry nature, etc. And I suppose all of that is true. But the first thing I thought of after my guilt of neglect was gratitude that this little thing didn’t give up on itself. And then the stories started to flood me of people who didn’t give up on themselves. The hero’s journey of sorts. Whenever I meet a PharmD or an MD or a PhD or RN or DNP (or a machine shop operator, teacher, tinker, tailor, soldier, spy) I ask this question: “Was it difficult?” And usually as if by some cosmic thing that unites them, they almost always take a step back to think about it, as if they had never given it much thought. And out comes wisdom and a conversation and a moment of nostalgic connection to a most important part of their life. When they bloomed. How about you?

The Trouble with “Think”

Thinking is often a good thing. At a recent physician meeting the CEO posed a question to the group that he apparently poses to his inner circle repeatedly, “Do you know? Or do you think that you know?” Two vastly different things. Both can have data behind them, but more importantly, only one has confidence and personal responsibility behind them. My editor says, “I’ve been taught from a young age that “think” isn’t as helpful as we *think* it is.” “I think the parachute will open…I think the harness will hold steady…I think I’m ready…I think I saw a bear….I think I love you.” Confidence and responsibility will win the day. Not enough data yet? Go get it…before you see the bear again!

“Think” is a sometimes not so useful word! Do you know or do you think you know?

Skip the Small Talk—Start with Impact!

Ever been in a presentation where the first few minutes are filled with weather updates and casual chit-chat? It often signals nervousness rather than confidence. But what if you flipped the script?

In my latest video, I share a simple yet powerful strategy: start with dessert first. Watch the video to see how you can transform the way you deliver presentations. Let’s make every word count!

I Sure Hope So!

Have you ever said that when asked how your next appointment is going to go? Or perhaps you say it silently entering a physician’s office who has a reputation for dining on MSLs! Hope is not a childhood wish. Hope is nothing to be ashamed of. Hope is a good thing. Of course, you’ll frequently hear (perhaps from your manager) the book title, “Hope is not a strategy!” And hope will not replace a strategy. However, it is a fundamental human emotion of optimism. It indicates a desire and a belief. However, it is often disparaged, so it is likely better as a private emotion rather than an answer to your manager. Someone once said, those who live with hope live differently than those without. Hope, like faith in yourself, is that quiet emotion that steadies us, gives us confidence, and becomes our inner emotional friend during difficult times. Those of you who were gymnasts as a child, how did you do that first successful backflip? Those of you who learned another language for your vacation or mission trip, how did you decide to just have the courage to say it in that language? Yes, these kinds of activities are built on skills, they are also built on our inner emotional life. It’s OK to hope and have faith in yourself. As I tell scientific presenters who are nervous before a big speech, “You know what you are going to say, they don’t. They want you to do well for their sake, and frankly after the first two sentences it is in the hands of a greater power than you!” Have hope and live differently.

Engaging the distracted decision-maker

I went to a funeral recently—a full house, standing room only. The eulogist took the podium silently, looked down at his notes, looked up at us, even scanned the crowd right to left and back again, down to his notes, then looked up and continued the story he started in silence.

His silent ascent to the podium and the silence continuing could not have been more than a minute or two, but it seemed longer—more reverent, more inclusive. And guess what? The crowd was completely silent. We were ready to hear what he had to say.

You can employ this too.

When I’m with a decision maker—an important person—and they’re looking at their screen, their phone, off in the distance, I simply say, “I’m OK, do you need to answer that?” or “Need to get that email off?” Or I put out a blank piece of 8.5x11 paper and I start drawing on it… usually geometric shapes, a Venn diagram, etc.

I do so slowly. This catches their attention and both of us are now looking down at the paper, and I have a collaborator instead of a judge or an impassive physician staring at PowerPoint slides.

The Venn diagram is a good one because the three interlocking circles create that middle circle. That middle circle need not have a name or anything on it. It often houses the future success or the critical question or the thing that we are researching. And of course, our distracted doctor is now looking at our material—our on-the-spot made material—not the company’s brochures (yet).

Use pauses to make sure that you are giving your physician time to take it all in, to think, and to respond. Coaches use W.A.I.T. as their professional mantra: Why Am I Talking?! You can too.

Slow your speech, allow for pauses, note overt and subtle physician interest (leaning forward, asking questions, brighter eyes, head nodding, guttural sounds, etc.). Like in The Princess Bride, “You let me in, prepare to be engaged!”

Lead with Wisdom, Not Just Data

Recently, a Maryland toddler fell from the 15th story of an apartment building and survived with a broken leg and some internal injuries. An MIT physicist and mechanical engineering professor, Anette Hosoi, said, “It’s not the fall, it’s the landing.” She then went on to speak about terminal velocity, mass acceleration, and other factors.

Her first quote though about the fall and the landing is the one that sticks. She said it first instead of all the data first. And in plain language that everyone can understand.

Later in a tip for parents in high rise apartments, Katie Donnelly, a pediatric emergency medicine physician at Children’s National Hospital in Washington, cautioned, “Screens keep bugs out, not keep kids in.” The details of why and how can come later; the wisdom is in the first sentence about screens.

An idea for us all, especially when presenting complicated material, is to find a way to make things very clear to any person at any level of education.

Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs cautioned us not to worry about being “perfect” but rather concern yourself with being “useful.”

Oh, and some interesting ideas here: Joshua Abzug, a pediatric orthopedist at the University of Maryland Medical Center, noted that the child landed in bushes with strong branches, which absorbed the energy. Had the child landed in a soft spot, the injuries could have been much worse, perhaps even fatal.

And one more tidbit: Hosoi mentioned that if a rabbit was dropped from an airplane (do not attempt this at home!), it has a 50/50 chance of survival based on its weight… as long as it isn’t a BIG rabbit!

The point to all of this: make your distinction short and clear and full of wisdom… then pile on the facts, if necessary!

The power of names

I was recently reminded of the power of names. Taking the time to remember someone’s name can instantly build rapport and trust. Do what you can to memorise them. It makes a bigger difference than you might think.

Watch this video to learn more!

Answer the Question You Wish They’d Asked

In all my presentations, I interview someone “Larry King Style.” which includes questions about their leadership journey from grade school to the present. We do not prepare the interview, I often know nothing about them. The interviews are much better that way, spontaneous, personal, from the heart and the head. Most of my interviewees say “Yes” when asked either in advance or on the spot. It is often the most popular part of the program (in addition to my infinite wisdom of course!).

A recent interview was with a CEO of a major southern hospital. He was terrific, popular, wise, experienced, and a giving person. He did something I’ve never seen before: he prepared! He had a fist full of notes, typed, labeled “the interview”! He didn’t refer to the notes very much, but I knew he was ready for whatever question came from me.

The great part of this particular interview was my questions were just the diving board, he decided how to dive! I’d ask a question, and he gave an answer and then he went on to what he most wanted the physicians in attendance to know, regardless of my question! He seemed to know that this was his moment with these 15 doctors, and he wanted them to know what he wanted them to know.

It was quite different from my other 900+ interviews over the years, and he taught me an important lesson…if you want to make an impact prepare what you want regardless of what happens. Robert Macnamara from the Kennedy and Johnson administrations said words to the effect of the media, “Answer the question you wished they had asked!”

So no matter if it is a ten-minute update or a spontaneous conversation, you always have time to prepare.

"The reason I say that is..."

Communication Tip: Use "The reason I say that is..."

Why? Because it gives people more time to hear, process, and actually consider what you’re saying—especially when sharing a new or challenging idea.

It’s a simple shift that encourages curiosity instead of resistance.

“You killed my father, prepare to die.”

“You killed my father, prepare to die.” Remember that line from the movie The Princess Bride? Mandy Patinkin was the actor. He is also an accomplished singer as well.

On The David Letterman Show one night, he was publicizing his latest album. Letterman said words to the effect that he knew this was an unusual request, but “would you sing this one?” and pointed to the back of the album cover. Mandy seemed surprised, as did the band. And then they did a drop-dead rendition of “Over the Rainbow” seemingly off the cuff.

Now, few things—very few things—on late night TV are spontaneous and unrehearsed, and I have no inner knowledge of this event. But it kept my interest. The persistent “what is going to happen?” thoughts in my head and the resulting song in a near-perfect “spontaneous” performance…

Moments like this, a do-or-die Masters golf shot, a rocket launch, your child’s first steps, a new Key Opinion Leader (!), are all moments of some anticipation if not suspense.

You can use this technique yourself. It is less of a technique and more of an awareness of the anticipation of the other.

In my next post, I’ll share a striking real-life example—and how you can channel this principle to engage the toughest audiences.

Words That Defuse, Not Divide

I listened to an interview where the head of a grassroots organization had lost funding for the event of the year from his major corporate donor. There were finances, people, and of course, politics involved. It was a heated issue and could have been a heated interview, but I noticed an interesting response on the part of the interviewee. Regardless of the pointed questions, the emotions, the differing facts on both sides, he peppered most of his answers with some form of the word “respect.”

As he did, I noticed I listened more closely instead of trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong. In response to a quoted somewhat curt reply from the donor, he’d say, “I understand that ________ is concerned about ______ and, respectfully, I’d like to add/suggest that another way to look at this is _________.”

In another part, he countered with, “With my greatest respect, I disagree but I personally know this person (donor) is a good man with the best of intentions. I do wish we could come to the table and share a way going forward with respect and honor.”

All his responses were laced with value words: “respect,” “concern,” “honor,” “gratitude,” etc. In doing so, he came across as a reasonable man whose organization was hurt by this corporate decision, a decision made by a corporate “good man that I know personally.”

I came away as a listener who was not in any way involved wondering, do I speak this way when the decisions (and the emotions) get hot?

And one more thing I noticed in this 4-minute interview—the interviewee never used the word “but.” However, the interviewer did!

"and what else?"

Use "...and what else?" to stay curious a little longer and transform your conversations. Watch this video to learn more...

Introvert or extrovert: it's not who you are, it's how you prepare

Going from office to office, making those cold calls, initiating conversation with a new Key Opinion Leader (KOL), and of course socializing on those ever-fun ride-along days… While these are often the breakfast of champions for the extroverts on the team, they can be a real ache for us introverts. Often misunderstood, the introvert/extrovert labels are simply how we get our energy: introverts charge their batteries while alone and feel them slowly deplete over the course of the day while extroverts charge just by being around others are a bit drained when alone.

Shyness and anxiety have been associated with introversion, but extroverts feel those same emotions. Each person handles it in a different way. Some introverts hang back and wait for the other person to engage them (not always a winning strategy with your manager, or your career!). Extroverts, on the other hand, handle those same emotions with over-talking, silly talking, and yes, just talking! Again, when our job is to seek out the other person, we need not relay our life stories.

Anxiety is often an ambiguous feeling (“I’ve heard there are bears in the area”), whereas fear is more direct (“Look! A bear!”). Nervousness is a focus on the wondering what will or could happen, or am I ready, or do they know how nervous I am?

The cure for all of this is to look outward, to engage, to listen, and then listen a bit more. Introverts are exceptional at listening when they disengage from the fear. Extroverts are great listeners when they focus on the story of the other vs. how it reminds them of themselves!

One psychological technique that can be useful for both is to prepare with the following:

1.   I know this about this KOL and their practice_________.
2.   My hunch is that this KOL may ask me ____________.
3.   I know that I know ____________.
4.   Therefore I (*must) __________.

*Now here is the trick…switch the final #4 from “I must….” to “I can….”

When you can, you have an endless supply of encouraging actions you can take. When we go into a meeting with “I must,” we are usually confining ourselves unnecessarily to a defensive posture with few alternatives.

Don’t concern yourself with whichever personality trait you have. Instead, focus on the target, the KOL who is giving you the time to be useful to them and to the patients under their care.