Introvert or extrovert: it's not who you are, it's how you prepare

Going from office to office, making those cold calls, initiating conversation with a new Key Opinion Leader (KOL), and of course socializing on those ever-fun ride-along days… While these are often the breakfast of champions for the extroverts on the team, they can be a real ache for us introverts. Often misunderstood, the introvert/extrovert labels are simply how we get our energy: introverts charge their batteries while alone and feel them slowly deplete over the course of the day while extroverts charge just by being around others are a bit drained when alone.

Shyness and anxiety have been associated with introversion, but extroverts feel those same emotions. Each person handles it in a different way. Some introverts hang back and wait for the other person to engage them (not always a winning strategy with your manager, or your career!). Extroverts, on the other hand, handle those same emotions with over-talking, silly talking, and yes, just talking! Again, when our job is to seek out the other person, we need not relay our life stories.

Anxiety is often an ambiguous feeling (“I’ve heard there are bears in the area”), whereas fear is more direct (“Look! A bear!”). Nervousness is a focus on the wondering what will or could happen, or am I ready, or do they know how nervous I am?

The cure for all of this is to look outward, to engage, to listen, and then listen a bit more. Introverts are exceptional at listening when they disengage from the fear. Extroverts are great listeners when they focus on the story of the other vs. how it reminds them of themselves!

One psychological technique that can be useful for both is to prepare with the following:

1.   I know this about this KOL and their practice_________.
2.   My hunch is that this KOL may ask me ____________.
3.   I know that I know ____________.
4.   Therefore I (*must) __________.

*Now here is the trick…switch the final #4 from “I must….” to “I can….”

When you can, you have an endless supply of encouraging actions you can take. When we go into a meeting with “I must,” we are usually confining ourselves unnecessarily to a defensive posture with few alternatives.

Don’t concern yourself with whichever personality trait you have. Instead, focus on the target, the KOL who is giving you the time to be useful to them and to the patients under their care.