Let me share some snippets of my expertise with you. I hope you find them useful and if you would like to chat more, just…
Viewing entries in
Never too old to learn
I’m making 2026 business travel arrangements and for as many as I can, I’m not rushing home in rush hour or worse on the red eye but rather taking that extra night with a mid-morning return. I’ll have a dinner or two with a nearby friend or past customer, take a walk, write my notes, maybe even be free to have dinner with my client. Yep, that’s what I’m going to do in 2026!
I’ve been to a bit more funerals lately than I’d like. I’m Irish and we see death as a time to celebrate…Irish wakes! And with each funeral I attended I wondered if we all told this person how fabulous they were when they were alive! With your customers and friends and employees…how about doing just that. A quick “I was thinking about you today” and I want to tell you what I was thinking about you. Then consider any one of these openers: What I liked, learned, or appreciated about you. Don’t leave it on voice mail…make them call you back! Don’t say it all the time in an email, write a thank you note or card, handwritten. And do it with absolutely no intention of another deal or contract as a result. You might even try it with your children or extended family. We all have plenty of time in the car to make a spontaneous call. And just think of the responder’s very good vibes from your thoughtful call.
When I received the wall calendar for our home for 2026…it was blank. Usually, we fill it in as the year progresses with events…but I noticed from the 2025 calendar we didn’t fill it in with hopes and wishes and dreams. We keep looking at it to forecast what we have to do, but not what we want to be this year. Notes in blank places about our wished trip soon back to Iceland (when the sun is out!), or Paris again, or better that ‘never been there yet’ place. On my business calendar I can do the same with new businesses to meet, old clients I’ve lost touch with, and new skills I’d like to acquire. We look at these everyday calendars enough for our ‘to do’ list, but as President of High Point University, Nido Qubein taught me many years ago the shortest ‘to do’ list is called the ‘to be’ list.
Have you used AI in your work? Consider using it in your pre-work, look it over, set it aside, and then write or develop your plan, PowerPoint, or meeting from your inner expert. Let AI remind you or help you break the barriers of your thinking, but beware using it as your expert. You are the expert the audience or the team or your boss wants to hear from. Going from AI to your boardroom presentation will look shallow and a bit fake simply because it is not tapping what the audience wants from you…they want YOU…especially your ‘take’ on things, your way of thinking about the issue, and your recommendations. Even planning a trip with your family…sure AI will give you a great routing…your job is the side trips, the songs in the car, and the adventures yet to happen because you used YOU.
In this video, I share Muhammad Ali’s powerful answer to the question of how he wanted to be remembered. His “recipe” is simple yet profound. Ali’s words remind us that legacy isn’t built in grand gestures, but in everyday choices of service, respect, and courage.
Watch the full video to hear his recipe in his own words.
What’s your recipe for how you want to be remembered?
I like hearing accents. I used to ask those I met who had an accent (even New Yorkers!), “Where are you from?” or “Where are you from originally?” Now I ask, “How many languages do you speak?” That gets a better response. My X-ray tech said, “Two! English and Bulgarian.” I asked, “You been there?” She laughed and said, “I was born there!” (she did not add “dumb ass”!) We spoke about the beauty of her homeland and a recommendation to go for a visit. She then asked with a knowing wry smile, “How many languages do you speak?” I responded with a smile, “I’m an American, just one! But I’m also Irish so I am fluent in sarcasm.” A fun short time in X-ray with a possible trip to a new place, maybe!
As we experiment with Artificial Intelligence, I’ve noticed that many of my colleagues rave about how much “content” they can produce using AI saving them time and, perhaps, creativity. Before the internet, our parents used phone directories. Quite literally books with everyone’s name, address, and phone number. The “Yellow Pages” were the commercial sections where you’d find your doctor, plumber, or gift shop. The advertisement was “Let your fingers do the walking.” I wonder if with AI we let our fingers do the talking, writing, “contenting”… all to our discredit. If our posts are really just you and me telling AI to write something that we allude to but not fully write ourselves, exactly how authentic is it? How authentic will it sound? Would we write a letter to a best friend with terminal cancer using AI? Or a valentine? Or a eulogy? I see uses for AI but I never use them to post, write, or correspond. I want my fingers to help me do my thinking and my connecting.
Have you ever received a voicemail that sounds like a car commercial on the radio when they have to read the fine print as fast as possible? You have to listen to it three times to get the number right, or you are left wondering which ‘Bob’ is calling you?
Next time you make a call, be prepared to get the person’s voicemail. Decide in advance what to say, the pace you will speak, the information vital to the return call (always give your phone number even if you know they already have it), and the purpose of your call…again in a voice as steady as if you were on NPR.
You don’t need to tell them the time or day, the phone will tell them that. Nor do you need to tell them the weather where you are, they don’t care. Nor do you need to imitate an airline pilot’s announcement, “This is, uhhh, your captain speaking, today we are uhhhh going to Seattle (we know that) and we uhhhh will be flying at 35,000 feet (not necessary) and uhhh given the time I won’t be making any more uhhhh announcements.” At last some good news!
Leave a good impression - clear, crisp, professional, paced, with just enough information. That way they will not only remember to return your call, but won’t be afraid to do so!
A lesson in cooperation from a bucksaw? You heard that right! Sometimes the simplest tools teach the most powerful lessons. Watch this video to find out more...
Ever thought about giving your job description a power boost?
It's time to take it off the shelf and add some punch! Look at your current roles and responsibilities, and think: What extra bullet points can I add?
By expanding your job description, you're not just sticking to the script - you're authoring your own career story. This is your chance to showcase that you are MORE than what your original job description outlines.
So, what are you waiting for? Start redefining your role today and breathe new life into your work! Watch this video to learn more!
Steve and Jayne Lowell introduced me to three very useful words: Mission-Moment-Mess. I sometimes use them for personal reflection, sometimes to frame a speech or a coaching call, often as a set of choices for someone taking my presentation skills class, and always as a reminder that words provoke the story.
Can you imagine giving a presentation on any of those three words and not launch into a story, an example, a person, an interaction? Even in ordinary conversation we can probe gently with “What do you think drives your efforts (mission)?” or “What was that moment like for you?” or “That sounds like it was quite a mess! How’d you get out of it? (or better “What did you learn from that?”)
As I reflect on my previous day I’ve found it helpful to just briefly, always non-judgmentally, and honestly ask…”How did I act on my mission, what was that special moment, and whew, how’d I get out of that mess (or what did I learn if I’m not out yet!”) Of course at the same time thankful for people like Steve and Jayne who remind me with their words.
The Heart Surgeon, Dr. Paul Massimiano MD from Adventist HealthCare White Oak Medical Center in Maryland said, “Patients are nervous before open heart surgery…pretty understandable. I tell them the important thing is that I’m not nervous!”
Your job interviewer understands your nervousness, but really wants to see your confidence. Your boss also when you are newly promoted. You're nervous for sure, but remember why you were promoted. You are good at this. As they say, “YOU GOT THIS”!
Nervous can equal excited if seen properly. As Dr. Massimaiano said after a successful surgery, “Every day is a new day, exciting. I’ve never been bored a single day in my entire career. It is a pleasure and an honor to operate on patients and to be entrusted with their care.” This is what each of us can say when we understand that our work is our mission, regardless of our role.
I was at a hotel last month where every worker seemed to know that their job as cleaner, wait staff, valet, hotel manager, and Starbucks server was secondary to their real job…to make my visit memorable! Their mission was achieved!
My final tip in this series is something I've learned from experts in negotiation. When it is obviously a bad deal a key technique is to “Walk Away”; it's important that you recognize when it is time to decline, and reassess. This always reminds me of the famous 1968 hit by the Four Tops, ”Walk Away Renee”. Why don't you take a moment to enjoy this masterful group here.
My next series will be on ideas for when you are being interviewed and when you are interviewing. Watch this space!
It will pay big dividends to write ‘that letter you were always going to write’ to your clients, colleagues, friends, children, spouse or partner. Maybe you could also include a former professor, the physician who encouraged you to follow your specialty, that special person who doesn’t really know they are special. Consider a handwritten letter verses an email. Either is better than not doing it, but the impact of a handwritten one really lasts!
This may be just me, but I have a visceral negative reaction to self-described “opinionated people.” I really don’t want to know their opinion, especially when it begins with “Well here’s my opinion about that!” It often feels superior, competitive, and rigid. An alternative might be a question, an affirmation of the other, an encouragement, a discussion. But this is just my opinion!
This is the title of one of my books co-authored with Cyndi Maxey CSP. We heard recently that someone was teaching our book with closed-ended questions and lectures! As an author all I could think was “Fantastic!” with a big grin. When you facilitate, get others talking and your content will emerge in the same way as when we mix ingredients for that stews and cakes.
Put your colleagues into small groups of three and have them focus on one question for 5-8 minutes then move to a new group. After a few moves ask, “What did you just learn from your group members?” Always avoid the deadly, boring, mind-numbing “Let’s all report out!” or “What did everyone say?” What they learned, leads to others learning, which is the whole point of any meeting. In fact, on Zoom I learned the Chat Box Waterfall from Caelan Huntress. Simply ask everyone on your Zoom call to go to the chatbox then say “I’m going to give you 45 seconds to type, but don’t hit enter until I tell you so. Here is your question _____...now type…don’t hit enter.” Then I go quiet (we can’t type and listen at the same time!) and after 45 seconds I say, “OK hit enter!” You’ll see a cascade of participation! Then simply pick a person and have them share, then they pick a person and so on. No need to do everyone. Save the chat and distribute.
You know which one it is! For me it was presenting at @ACHE 2021 Congress without slides. I’m not a huge fan of PowerPoint or Keynote anyway so I thought I’d give it a try. I took the advice of professional speaker Catherine Johns to look ‘through’ the camera (not ‘at’ the camera). I had a few notes like Lester Holt has for @NBC Nightly News does, an outline of major ideas on a flip chart behind the camera, and I envisioned my invisible audience loving every minute! It was a risk, but I’d already seen so many presenters who ‘shared their screen’ and then it was slide after slide after slide, sometimes every word narrated by the speaker! How about you? What would be a small risk for you? About how:
· A meeting with only chairs in a circle.
· An electronics free meeting…no computers, no cell phones, no slides.
· Sitting with each patient you visit instead of standing.
· Asking your nurses the best question I learned from Char Wenc: “What do you know, that I don’t know, that I should know?” A great, great question for every executive or parent to also ask!
· Inviting your “Dr. Evil” to coffee just to chat. (Every organization has one. Maybe this person is isolated, lonely, and in need of you!)
· Treat your kids to ‘dessert first’ next time you are out for a family dinner. Quite literally order dessert first prior to the entrée. (Your children will love you forever! One of my physician clients did it at Denny’s with his four kids and his wife. Yes, she was surprised! He told me with a lump in his throat, “Kevin it was the best dinner we ever had…we talked! No iPads, no phones…we talked!”)
· During your next “I am losing this argument” moment just say “I need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Then get your act together and return with “Now, where were we?” Notice the change that always happens in mood, communication, and cooperation.
· Marina Bluvshtein a professor from Adler University in Chicago advises “Try to win an agreement instead of an argument!”
· Negotiation expert Derek Arden from the UK advises that people love a good talking with, rarely a good talking to!
Risks taken never feel that big after all!
Be careful about the letters after your name and the ones after theirs. Let them see yours but focus on theirs. Ask about their PhD and their thesis. Ask how medical school was for them. Notice the MBA and other Master’s degrees and inquire about what they learned. Be impressed with @Harvard, @Loyola, as well as the schools you never heard of before with equal curiosity. Physicians love to talk about how they chose their specialty; healthcare executives love to talk about the latest innovation; chaplains about their latest patient or family; and students really like to talk about a favorite professor. Ask, paraphrase, listen. Be more about their ‘alphabet soup’ than your own.
Are you still struggling to think of your New Year’s resolution? How about this - ask those who know you best (at work and at home) a simple but telling question: “What do I do well and what is one thing you might suggest that I consider doing more (or less!) of?” We do this at the end of every semester with our students at Institute of Pastoral Studies Loyola University. Everyone answers everyone including students telling professors. It is eye opening and encouraging. We are already noticing it and thinking about it, so why not help another by offering it?
I asked this to a group of attorneys recently and without exception they just loved to talk to other attorneys, law professors, and each other. No one said they love to talk to their clients, spouses or partners about the law! None! How about you? Who do you love to talk to about your profession? If it is only to those in the same profession, then a stretch might be to focus on another audience and see if you can effectively translate what you know. I told one of my physicians recently that I have another 25 years left of active service before I slow down. He smiled and said, “All I can tell you Kevin is that all of my 90-year old patients have two things in common.” Then he pointed to his head and said, “They stay active here” and pointed to his legs and said, “They stay active here!” My internal response was, “Well I’m 50% on the way!” My external response was, “Understood!” All of the tests, history, medical advice, and notes in a file were of less use than his intuition to align with my 25-year goal. If you know how to talk to your audience in a way that it sticks with them well beyond the moment, then you’ve gained a non-expert that you will love to talk with. Translate what you know, so that they will know, what you know!
