I’ve written before about how much we value our opinion and how little others do! Check my website for past posts on this. Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs, the famous Adlerian psychiatrist from Chicago cautioned us that feelings are the movers for us, they are the gas in our tank. They help us feel and figure out what is going on with us. They just don’t belong in the driver’s seat…that is where good judgment resides. Social media has been blowing up lately, many times (or most times) with people’s opinions. Their reactions. Their gas tanks! You can almost tell who started typing before thinking. I’d like to suggest another approach for your social media, your meetings at work, your conversations over a beer, or even your call home from your hotel: consider ‘How do I want to respond to this person, event, or issue’? This gives you time (and a bit more time) to decide what you will say to the world or to your spouse or partner that you really want public…and how you expect it to better your relationship with the world or those at home. Many years ago, the American Psychiatric Association offered that change really happens when we are listened to, when we are attended to, when we are helped to focus, and when we are encouraged. What strikes me about that formula is that it is other focused, perhaps even dialog focused. In the book “The Advice Trap” by Michael Bungay Stanier he gives away the entire content of the book with the subtitle: “Be Humble, Stay Curious, and Change the Way You Lead Forever.” I’m not sure we need each other’s opinions or advice…maybe we need to discuss the questions and the feelings that are deeper down.