Use metaphors and stories

·        “Think of it as….”
·        “Sort of like…”
·        “It is as if….”
·        “I remember this one time when…”
·        “I once noticed…”
·        “One of my professors remarked that…”

In your meetings and presentation keep using metaphors and stories to keep the audience in alignment with you, to keep them interested, and to turn your expertise into useful information.

One of my attorney clients said with some exasperation, “How many ways can I explain the term ‘negligence’?” To all of us non-lawyers it is worth the effort. Your audience will always be polite and nod in agreement but retain nothing! So, check at the end of any technical explanation with the simple and powerful, “I’m trying to get better at this. Please tell me in your own words what you think negligence is.” You will be amazed how clear you were…or maybe you’ll have some clearing up to do!

"The issue in all human conflict is never about things, but always about respect"

We can so easily lose sight of things when we find ourselves in conflict over who did what to whom. Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs the famous Chicago psychiatrist said that ongoing conflict is never really about money or sex or how we load the dishwasher. Rather it often takes the form of:

-         “My right to decide is being weakened here.”
-         “My right to control is being jeopardized.”
-         “My judgment and my ideas are not being considered here.”
-         “My prestige and my status are being questioned by this person.”
-         “My feelings just don’t seem to count here.”
-         “I feel unfairly treated.”
-         “I feel defeated.”
-         “I feel powerless.”
-         “I feel inferior.”

Ever feel those ways regardless of the content? These feelings of respect or rather feeling disrespected linger long after the event that initiated them. Attend to the real issue and you may find resolution around the corner.

People's power

I recently had a reminder that power and influence aren’t what define a person’s impact. It’s not about titles, status, or authority—it’s about how we show up, how we connect, and how we make others feel.

Watch this video to learn more.

Creating a community through connection and care

“Building a Community.
Physicians go where they are Welcomed…
Remain where they are Respected…
And grow where they are Nurtured.”
- Bill Leaver, CEO, Iowa Health System

Substitute the word physician with these words: nurses, security guard, housekeeping, receptionist, etc. Maybe even replace the word physician with MSL! This is the key to community regardless of working out of your car or on the phone. You and I can add to a community feeling (The German word is “gemeinschaftsgefuhl,” indicating a connectedness of well-being with others). On your KOL visits, you can bring that shining light of welcoming, respect, and nurturance to every practice and university you visit. When you do, they want you back and will remember you. And you will remember them as well.

Deepen your understanding of language

Teaching at the Institute of Pastoral Studies - Loyola University Chicago gives me a worldwide view of life, with students from Korea, Poland, China, Spain, South America, India, Pakistan, and even Atlanta, Georgia! The diversity of perspectives in my classroom is both a gift and a learning opportunity.

As I teach, I’ve discovered a unique way to deepen our understanding of language—I ask my students to use their native language to teach me more about our English vocabulary.

Recently, I asked my students to put the word "hunch" on the board in their native languages and then define it. None of them defined it as simply "hunch"—instead, they painted vivid images of the word in action, bringing its meaning to life in ways that transcended traditional definitions.

I then asked a student from Thailand to write "empathy" on the board in Thai—it turned out to be a very long word! When I asked her to define it, she paused for a moment and said, "Sitting on my grandmother’s lap after dinner before the fireplace." Perfect.

These moments remind me of the powerful world of words, images, metaphors, and inclusion. Try using the languages of your international colleagues or neighbors early and often—you might be surprised at how it enhances your own understanding of English.

It's showtime folks!

"The average person looks without seeing,
listens without hearing, touches without noticing,
eats without tasting, and smells without awareness." - Leonardo da Vinci

I was struck by this quote when I was playing with the DaVinci robot attempting to get a rubber band off some pretend tissues. Not easy! What I noticed was that my whole self was in a state of awareness, not the ordinariness referred to in the master’s quote. When we are in awareness, something happens not only to you but to us. I have a new awareness of when I am talking and when I should go quieter, when to ask a question and how to answer one and being especially aware of how I look not in the mirror kind but in the engagement kind. Performers remind themselves: “It’s showtime folks!”

"Find out who you are and then do it on purpose"

A quote from the famous philosopher Dolly Parton urges us to be our distinctive self. In a world of managers who may want you to look alike or speak alike, make sure that you don’t extinguish your personality, your energy, your values, your distinctive self. Feedback is fine but be careful if you are being asked to be someone other than who you are. And frankly, when you are on the road with your KOLs, nobody is monitoring your every word. Be yourself. (Well… Maybe not all the time! Ride-alongs with your manager might not be the best time to be fully you!!)

Pause. Wait. Focus

When the other person invades your amygdala with a word that seems accusatory, negative or combative many of us are more than ready to react. Often, we show it nonverbally and then accept the challenge as we enter the battlefield of verbal combat, competition, and opinion. Like little leaguers putting one hand over the others going up the bat to see who goes first we can easily and understandably (and immediately!) swing into action.

Here is an alternative approach: Pause. Wait. Focus. Then paraphrase. As hard as it might be, respond back to the person in your language with what they said, and make sure there’s no attitude in it. Don’t mirror them exactly, create your own restatement then look for an affirmative head nod, agreeing eyes, or a lessened fury. Sometimes it helps to use one or two of their words interspersed with your understanding as this helps them hear what they said, “Jerk, idiot, etc” It's often clearly painful for them.

The goal is to get the head nod. This is also your secret weapon against yourself. We have a plaque in our kitchen that reads “Lord put your hand on my shoulder and the other one over my mouth!” Pause, paraphrase, and then respond with “I have a slightly different take on that…would you like to hear it?” Then….PAUSE!

Your job is to engage the audience

“Your job is not to please the audience; your job is to engage the audience. And it is in the engagement that then they will be pleased.”

Nora Dunn from Saturday Night Live said this in one of my classes and it has stuck with me ever since. So often in this business, we sit down and think we have to talk. Or our physician might open with something to the effect of, “What have you got for me today?” Make sure you switch it around to get them talking, to engage them: “Any interesting patients this past month?” or “First let me ask what would make our time together successful for you?” (This is a standard coaching question so that you can get right to the need and set up a goal for the meeting.)

At the end of the meeting, you can then say, “What was most useful about our talk for you today?” This too is a coaching question to put a cap on the session and mark progress. Just ask the question and go quiet to give them time to both think and feel it is their turn to talk. The mistake many make – even professional interviewers – is out of nervousness, anxiety, or a desire to show what we know; we add possible answers to our questions, “Was it good?” or “You know I mean this past 20 minutes.” Doing so doesn’t allow the person to find their own answers because they are busy listening to yours.

Planning your next steps

Taking time to reflect and plan your next steps is essential for meaningful growth. Watch this video to learn more…

“The first time I meet them I know nothing."

“The first time I meet them I know nothing.” A sales friend of mine said this was the key to his success! And he was affectionately known as the guy you go to for help. I probed, of course, and he said that although many of his clients old and new have the same issues, “I always treat them with curiosity and openness as if they were the only one or the first one. I alert my whole self to them, to their pain, to their need to say it all to me. And I do alert myself he said or otherwise I’d be a generic visitor to their pain.” How do you approach that “first visit” (and perhaps subsequent ones as well)? When we put ourselves first as the receiver of what is top of mind for the KOL (or anyone), we are in a better position to provide what they really want from us.

Be audience focused

I am continually amazed by presentation after presentation where the opening lines are about the presenter and not the audience. Are you guilty of ever starting with any of the following?

·        “You probably want to know a bit about me…”
·        “I am blah blah and I studied at blah blah and blah blah blah…”
·        “Before we get the meat of today I want to thank…”
·        “Before I get to the report you’ve been waiting for, you have to understand…”
·        And of course, the infamous, “How’s everyone doing this morning?” (followed by “I can’t hear you!”)

While the audience will be patient with you nonverbally (we’ve been taught to sit and listen politely!) they will also mark you as ordinary, expected, and frankly, wasting their time.

Dale Carnegie’s famous admonition, “Tell them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them” still works today for the soul reason - it is audience focused. Our nervousness, our ego, our desire to please or our wish to look good unfortunately puts the focus on us instead of those who came to hear us. The hard truth is that the audience don’t really care about you. No matter how important you are, the audience has one pivotal question in their minds “Can you help me solve my problem; can you improve my condition.” Start there and you will see and maybe even hear your audience say, “Whew! Yes!”

Choosing a presentation for your next MSL interview

I am often asked my perspective on what topic a candidate should choose for their interview presentation, whether that is a student interviewing for a fellowship or an aspiring MSL looking for their first industry role. My advice is to pick a scientific topic on which they are familiar and confident.

Most of the time I suggest they stray away from a company publication (unless the company provides it) and instead focus on one from a competitor that is relevant to the audience.

Interestingly, a student pursuing a fellowship told me that they were told to pick any topic that reflects their interests, and it didn’t need to be about science. While this might be a clever way to get to know a candidate, I’m not sure a presentation on the optimal kayak stroke or brewing an IPA is the best reflection on the candidacy for a fellowship.

The ideal situation is for the company to provide a publication as that offers room for comparison across candidates, saves the interviewee time searching for a topic, and has the candidate learning a topic relevant to the job for which they are interviewing. A win-win-win in my perspective. Since the audience are experts on the study, they need to be cautious about expecting too much from the candidate but no doubt they are aware.

What advice do you provide to students/candidates on the topic to choose for an interview presentation?

Truly listening to the customer

I was recently reminded how crucial it is to truly listen to the customer and focus on answering their questions—without offering unsolicited advice. Watch this video to learn why understanding your audience is the key to building trust and delivering real value.

Your S-curve journey

Would you agree that you’re a little slower as you learn something new? That can be frustrating for a highly functioning person. Imagine getting permission and space to be a little slower as you grow a new area of expertise. Would that relieve the stress associated with learning, especially when working in a high-pressure environment in which that new skill will provide long-term value?

Welcome to the concept of the “S-curve”! Charles Handy first introduced this concept as the “sigmoid” curve in the 90’s as an organizational and individual growth module for life cycle thinking. Whitney Johnson described the application of the S-curve in her 2012 Harvard Business Review article “Throw Your Life a Curve” in the learning and development space as a powerful tool used to support the development of new competencies.

From the slow beginnings of learning, we gradually accelerate our learning trajectory and then plateau as we are comfortable with this new skill and execute it with confidence. See the “S” shape forming?

When you’ve identified a new skill that you need to develop, talk with leadership about the space and time you need to journey from the tail of the S-curve, through the middle, to the plateau where you have achieved mastery (and need to start a new S-curve).

Personal connections

Watch this video to explore the importance of personal connection and how it can make all the difference.

Having a growth mindset

A growth mindset allows you to add the word “yet” after acknowledging that you don’t know how to do something or if you are still developing skills in an area.

In her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” Carol Dweck, PhD outlines the concept of growth and fixed mindsets. If you have a fixed mindset about something, you may avoid new challenges, focus on failures, and believe that you cannot broaden your talent. Doesn’t that feel stifling Having a growth mindset allows you to look at challenges as opportunities, failures as a learning experience from which you can grow, and understand you can develop new skills.

Perhaps you want to play the piano but have not done so as you feel it is daunting and that you had tried in the past without success. Approaching this now, you might say “I can’t play the piano yet,” acknowledging that you can and will develop that skill.

She provides examples of celebrities that demonstrate these mindsets (Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, John McEnroe to name a few) and I’ll let you guess which category these individuals personify. She describes herself as a person who evolved from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset!

It’s such a liberating feeling to know that you don’t need to be great at everything and that it’s OK to be in the development phase of a new skill. What is it that want to develop and can’t do YET?

“What do you most remember about them"

My eldest sister passed away peacefully Jan 1st after a short and welcomed hospice stay. She was ready. I received the usual heartfelt condolences, a welcomed hug, an “I’m so sorry” and a few “How old was she?” as well as a few stories of a death related to them. A seat mate on the plane said, “Wow that’s old!” Later he sought me out in baggage claim and wished me an “successful funeral!” We both chucked over that one. Everyone did their best.

I’m Irish and so death is not as much a fear for us as a celebration of the life lived …we have a long tradition of Irish wakes…my father often prayed for a ‘Happy Death’…he got one with minstrels playing at his bedside.

After a few responses that I received I thought more about how to handle these sudden and sometimes awkward moments. What do I say? On social media of course a short condolence is a welcomed connection. But what about those times when you are in person or at the wake? What is a useful way to respond to your clients and friends, even to yourself, when the ultimate that we all have in common happens our way.

One response I use and being on the receiving end now I find comforting when time permits is “What do you most remember about her?” or words to that effect. This takes the nervousness out of things for us and begins a memory-making sharing for the one who is hurting. Through our question they get to bring alive the memory and share it. No need then for any awkward or cliche comments…just a moment of intimacy. And perhaps even a “successful funeral”!

Your favorite book on networking

We all recognize that networking is important, and it may be daunting, especially if you are out of practice. The pandemic has an impact on our networking skills and has offered us an opportunity to develop our skills in diverse ways. How did you develop your skills? What ideas can you offer individuals who are less comfortable networking?

What networking book do you recommend and is there a tip in that book you found to be of particular value? How does networking differ depending on where you’re at in your career? How may it be different if you change direction in your career?

Let’s use our experience to develop a list of books to expand our skills and foster our growth in this key area.