Memorable conversations

There is a classic Family Guy episode where the talking baby, Stewie, looks at his mom, Lois, lying on the bed and repeats over and over again, “Lois, Lois, Lois, Mom, mom, mom, mummy, mama.” He goes on and on... until finally, Lois acknowledges him with irritation, and Stewie runs off as if this was great fun. Anyone with children knows this scenario all too well.

At the airport last month, the scene repeated all the way through TSA, with a mother finally and exasperatedly saying, “What!?” after her child repeatedly called her. The little boy paused and then said, “I forgot.” Have you ever tried to get someone’s attention—perhaps not quite like Stewie—but over and over, only to be ignored? Especially during a job search, this happens much too often. We hear, “Yes, send me your stuff!” And then… nothing! We send a polite reminder and… nothing.

I wonder if maybe, just maybe, sometimes we are not showing enough interest in their stuff. To them, it may feel like Stewie has returned! Perhaps the key is to begin with a genuine interest in them as we are pitching ourselves. Get them talking about their career, their choices, their challenges. That will be a memorable conversation, which is exactly what we want—to be remembered.

Personal Development Planning Tip #2

Your personal development plan (PDP) is your roadmap for growth, but it’s also a reflection of your aspirations. Here are more things to consider:

Perhaps you are unclear what you want to do next, but you know what you enjoy doing and what you don’t. What roles are out there that fit your interests? Investigating this further through networking can be a lot of fun and make the path forward clearer.

Tip: Don’t do this too quickly. Broaden your search parameters. Call your friends with different specialties, even speak to your neighbors outside of pharma to see how they develop themselves. Look for what appears to be unique take on things. One of my neighbors when stressed says she does the opposite, thinks the opposite, looks for the opposite or different. She may or may not do anything, but she says it relieves her ‘either-or’ way of thinking under stress.

There are many tools available that will help you reflect on how you’d like to focus your development plan. It should start with a review of your recent performance evaluations, field ride-along feedback, your PDP from last year, and other sources of feedback you’ve received. Perhaps you completed a personality or behavioral self-assessment tools such as Inner Genius, DISC, Insights, or Myers-Briggs which has provided areas for development aligned with your personality style. While we may want to deny the accuracy of these tools, if we take an honest look at the results, there are a few things that may be valuable to address. Does your company offer the opportunity for 360° feedback? Perhaps you have competency models that outline the expectations of your role. As you review these tools, be honest with yourself about your strengths and areas for improvement. An honest, open discussion with your manager and/or a trusted colleague or mentor will provide additional insights that are valuable as you begin this process.

Tip: Don’t just ask for ‘feedback’…ask for what you really want. “During my last presentation what is one thing you really liked and one thing that I can do better next time?” Direct their thinking or you will get a Jack Nicholson dump!

Over the next few posts, we will dive deeper into these topics and give you many points to consider as you build your PDP around two or three goals for your personal development. Having a growth mindset as you embark on this journey will enhance your ability to become the artist you want to be and optimize your impact as an MSL.

Spread encouragement!

Start spreading encouragement every day by saying these three simple things to those around you:

1️⃣ What you liked
2️⃣ What you learned
3️⃣ What you appreciated

Watch this video to learn more and let me know who you've encouraged today!

Personal Development Planning Tip #1

It was Jack Nicholson who famously said, “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” Well, when we (or our boss) give feedback, there may be some “truths” we’d prefer not to handle! But when we learn to handle all that comes our way, we are then in a better position to decide what is the ‘useful truth’… those true things about us that make us useful to others. While science may be about perfection, our ability with others is about how we can be most useful to them.

Constructing a personal development plan (PDP) is an opportunity to discuss where you are and where you want to be in your career, as well as to outline the journey to move toward your goal. It is not a one-time discussion; it is a dynamic document that should facilitate conversations throughout the year during one-on-ones with your manager. Reflecting how you execute and with the goal to optimize your impact as an artful MSL is the cornerstone to developing a thoughtful development plan.

There are a few things to reflect upon when considering your PDP:

How are you performing in your current role? If you’re new to your role, your development plan may focus on developing the competencies necessary to be effective in aspects of your new role. If you’re seasoned in your role and want to focus on optimizing your performance and impact, you may want to look for additional opportunities that support the team and broaden your skills.

Tip: Do this without obvious self-promotion but rather by supporting your manager and your team’s most important goals. An added tip: volunteer for the sub-teams that you would naturally avoid! (finance, compensation, project management, Holiday Party!) Doing so will educate you and just might provide a platform for change.

Do you have a desire to change roles and know your next steps in your career journey? This is an opportunity to write a development plan focused on how you can optimize skills in your current role that are building blocks for your next desired role. Imagine in that job interview outlining how you executed your development plan to ensure you had the skills and experience to be a top candidate for this position!

Tip: Interview those who already have the role you want. Identify the competencies they demonstrate to excel in their role.

Stay tuned for more insights into constructing an impactful PDP!

You got this!

Heart Surgeon Dr. Paul Massimiano MD from Adventist HealthCare White Oak Medical Center in Maryland said, “Patients are nervous before open heart surgery…pretty understandable. I tell them the important thing is that I’m not nervous!” Your job interviewer understands your nervousness, but really wants to see your confidence. Your boss also when you are newly promoted. Nervous for sure, but remember why you were promoted, you are good at this, as they say, “you got this”! Nervous can equal excited when seen properly.

As Dr. Massimaiano said after a successful surgery, “Every day is a new day, exciting. I’ve never been bored a single day in my entire career. It is a pleasure and an honor to operate on patients and to be entrusted with their care.” This is what each of us can say when we rightly understand our work is our mission regardless of our role.

At a hotel last month, where every worker was from around the world, all seemed to know their job as cleaner, wait staff, valet, hotel manager, and Starbucks server was secondary to their real job…to make my visit memorable!

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Ask open-ended questions

Instead of overwhelming your interviewee with too many possible answers, ask open-ended questions that invite them to share their expertise. This allows for more insightful and authentic responses, giving you a deeper understanding of their perspective. Keep it simple and let their knowledge shine!

Dealing with rejection Tip #3

In our last post on this topic, we encouraged you to retrain your brain to focus on positive feedback and positive outcomes. How’s it going? It’s not an easy switch but it’s an important one. Everyone gets feedback and faces disappointment, and the art of being an impactful MSL is to move past it and turn it into an opportunity for success.

How can you use the rejection to motivate you to try again? What have you learned by processing your emotions? What positive feedback have you received? Review that positive feedback. Review it again! Post it in a visible place. Embed those positive thoughts in your brain and get back on the horse.

Based on the steps you have taken and your learnings, what will you do differently moving forward? Review the feedback you’ve received with fresh eyes. What development opportunities have you identified?

·        If your rejection was related to a KOL meeting, approach the KOL in person at a conference meeting versus sending an email request. If email is your choice moving forward, how can you restructure the email? Can you shorten it and focus simply on getting the meeting? Consider offering times for the meeting to occur (versus open ended “when are you available?”). See our earlier posts for optimizing emails.

·        If you were turned down for a promotion, use your personal development plan to address any gaps you’ve identified or optimize areas relevant to the job you’re seeking. If you don’t have a personal development plan, this is the time to put one together. Be honest with yourself about areas for growth and avoid focusing on areas that you enjoy the most.

·        You may feel rejected by your KOL but in the mind of the KOL it may mean nothing. A second or third or fourth contact will often revive the relationship as long as you don’t hold a grudge. It may not be that way for them at all.

Rejection is inevitable but how you respond to it speaks to your professionalism and resilience. Even if your “shots on goal” are not resulting in the percentage of meetings or the promotion you hoped for, maintain a positive outlook. Reflecting on past victories for affirmation will be helpful. They say rejection builds character. Find that path forward after taking a deep breath, stepping back, and reframing the situation. You’ve got this!

Provide the experience

"Turn to your neighbor" is an often-used technique presenters rely on for “audience involvement.” Personally, I think it has passed its prime. Instead, how about, “When I give you the signal, I want you to get up and find two other people you don’t know and form a group of three away from the tables. Ready? Go!”

Yes, this chaotic madness is noisy, disorganized for a few moments, and terribly fun. The next interaction can be “new groups of two” and then “take your group of two and join another group of two to become a group of four” and so on.

Get people together to meet, get them away from the tables (I never use any tables…they just get in the way)…and let them talk to one another. Yes, what you have to say is important, but just not that important.

Consider being a presenter/facilitator rather than the main presenter. Consider ‘lecturettes’ instead of a 90-minute talk. Speak for 8-12 minutes if you must, then get them talking to one another! They may have initially come to hear you, but they will remember the opportunity to talk and meet one another.

Yes, your expertise is valuable, and so is the experience they had that you allowed.

Dealing with rejection Tip #2

All MSLs face rejection, and part of the art of being an impactful MSL is to move past it and turn it into an opportunity for success.

·        Consider what you can learn from this experience. Perhaps your request was not clear in the email to your KOL? Maybe you were too casual in your discussions during the interview?

·        Compare these learnings to your past successes. What did you do differently? How could your approach be adjusted? For example, look back on emails that resulted in a KOL response and compare / contrast with the email that resulted in your recent “rejection.” This historical approach can be a solid one and can help you put some perspective in line with how this relationship has gone in the past.

·        Can you get feedback on what stemmed the decision? If you didn’t get a job or a promotion, reaching out for feedback speaks volumes to the interviewer about your desire to grow. Recognize that their feedback may be limited due to corporate policy, but taking that step is important. Talking it out with a friend, trusted colleague, or a coach can often surface what might really be going on.

One of the difficult things for us to remember is that rejection is often not personal.

·        When making the decision about who to hire there are many factors a manager considers, such as if they can provide the support this individual needs to be successful or if this individual has experience that will diversify the team.

·        If a KOL declines your meeting invitation or cancels your meeting, it’s more likely due to a busy schedule or unexpected patient issues than to a personal affront.

·        Talking to one of your trusted MSL colleagues or your manager about the situation and gaining their perspective will provide important food for thought. Listen carefully for the positive affirmations they provide (write them down for future reference!).

·        Consider your own assessment. What did you like, learn, or appreciate about this relationship prior to this incident? Give value and appreciate what you have done thus far. Don’t let one misstep or misperception weigh you down. Remember: there are other KOLs who just can’t wait for you to come knock on their door!

According to neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” Isn’t that the truth? Do you focus on the positives when getting feedback or the negative? We need to retrain our brains, which can only be accomplished with practice. Get started today!

Immediate responses for slow thinkers (like myself!)

Ever been caught off guard by someone saying something uncomfortable and felt like you needed more time to respond? As a slow thinker myself, I've found that taking a moment to pause and gather my thoughts can make all the difference. Instead of feeling pressured to respond immediately, try these approaches that I share in the video below. Let me know what you think!

Dealing with rejection Tip #1

Rejection stinks! Whether it’s a KOL declining a meeting or being bypassed for a promotion, it never feels good. It is, however, inevitable. They say it builds character (Did you just roll your eyes?). Since rejection is something we all face, learning to respond to rejection is key. When you are under pressure to meet with an important KOL, that rejection can also result in extra angst. What you do next for yourself can make a difference with what you do next for your KOL. It will begin with the basic you. Take a deep breath, step back, and reframe.

Consider your first response to rejection. Do you get angry, lash out, take it personally, or see it for what it likely is – one more obstacle to move past? Recognizing and processing your feelings is constructive so you can learn and continue on a positive path forward. Your emotions are the gas in your tank. Their job is to energize. They do not, however, belong at the steering wheel. This is where your judgment belongs. The breathing, step back, and reframing keeps the emotions where they belong… And the good thinking where it belongs!

·        Give yourself space to face your emotions and decide how to move forward. Step away from work and do something to relax.

·        Don’t act on your emotions, no matter what you do (e.g. sending a strongly worded email or picking up the phone and giving someone a piece of your mind). It goes without saying that it won’t help the situation. Always, especially under stress, use the draft folder without an address for any email you want to send. This will help you send the email you’d better send, if at all.

·        Remember that you have been successful in the past (probably as recently as earlier today) and this rejection isn’t the end of the world! Spoiler alert… Per Alexander Graham Bell, “When one door closes, another door opens.”

·        And remember that it might just not be an outright rejection, but a “feeling of rejection” by a sensitive (or overly-sensitive) part of oneself. There are many reasons that what looks like a rejection is not that at all. It could be about us, not them.

Take the time you need to process your feelings and get ready for the next steps. If you get tied up in emotion, you will linger on frustration – which isn’t productive. In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you’ll need to “shake it off” and move forward. More on that in our next post.

What would you most like to learn today?

I recently had a very fun time teaching presentation skills to graduate students in healthcare. Imagine yourself giving a spontaneous three-minute presentation in front of 300 fellow comrades who were most happy it was you and not them! What would you do? Well, this time it was a bit different.

From three possibilities the ‘selected one’ was able to choose a topic and as they were ready to speak, we asked the audience what they wanted to hear about regarding the topic. Who else was involved? When did it happen? What effect did it have on you? Can you describe the scene so we can ‘see’ it? As the audience gave their suggestions, it was very fun to see the eyes of the presenter light up with what seemed like, “Oh yes, I can do that, that too, and that too!”

So often we forget to ask the audience, thinking only of what we want to present. Have a difficult audience or a ‘Dr. Evil’ in the group…ask them for sure! When they see that you want to involve them you will have life-long friends or at least friends for a long as you are speaking!

Even if you have only a few minutes, greet them as they enter and if you want ask a simple question, “What would you most like to learn today?” By golly you could even get them into groups of three immediately and ask the same question!

My hunch is that whatever you prepared is going to be presented anyway. With their comments lingering in your mind however, you’ll have a friendly audience, an involved audience, and you can even quote them throughout your talk! Always ask even when you ‘think’ you know the answer!

Connecting with your virtual audience Tip #4

In this series, we’re reviewing some simple tricks to enhance our connections with our virtual audience by removing obstacles.

Keeping a professional environment for virtual engagement when you’re on the road may take a few extra steps.

·        When using the desk in a hotel room, the background is often the bed! Not professional! Turn yourself around so a wall is behind you. Can you move the desk? If not, did you know an ironing board makes a great makeshift desk?! I once used an ottoman on top of the bed as a desk so the background was appropriate. Another option is to carry a vinyl or cloth backdrop and pushpins to guarantee your background is professional.
·        Using a virtual background is also an option used by many but keep in mind that parts of you disappear when you move. For the audience this can be a distraction and make interrupt their focus. If you do choose a virtual background, ensure it is professional.
·        If you need to have a virtual meeting with a KOL but it overlaps with the time you’re driving to another appointment or the airport, leave with time to arrive to your destination early and find a quiet place for your virtual call. Worst case scenario, sit in your car (perhaps the backseat) but whatever you do, DON’T drive and get on a video call. It’s dangerous and unprofessional and will leave the KOL questioning your judgement. It also doesn’t allow you to give the KOL or the conversation the necessary attention. Plan accordingly!
·        Ensure your headphones are charged and you have a back-up set that plugs into your computer. Being on speaker does not bode well in that environment (or most environments if I’m going to be honest!).
·        At the airport a quiet corner may be difficult to find. Is an airline club membership an option, even for the day? Is there a quiet corner away from a busy gate? Remember while travel is “part of the job” and “people should understand,” constant interruptions to a conversation are annoying even to the most patient KOL.

Love or hate virtual meetings, they have become a normal part of our lives as MSLs. While building relationships through remote interactions may not be our favorite option, implementing these practices will remove obstacles and facilitate strong connections with our virtual audience.

Conveying your message

I recently had a valuable reminder to slow down and truly reflect on the message I'm trying to convey. It's easy to rush through communication, but taking the time to be intentional and thoughtful can make all the difference.

Connecting with your virtual audience Tip #3

In this series we’re reviewing some simple tricks to enhance our connections with our virtual audience by removing obstacles.

Can you hear me now? Now? NOW? What? My camera’s not on? Let me try this. Nope, hmmm, I guess I’ll be off camera for the meeting.

How many meetings start like this? How do you feel when you’re the one having technical difficulties or the observer of the problem? With some effort, most technical difficulties can be managed in advance of the big call.

·      Ideally, use the same equipment even if you are on the road.

·      Use the test features in the program to ensure you can hear and are heard.

·      Are your wireless headphones charged? Do you have a backup plan if they run out of juice?

·      What is your camera showing? Mainly your face (or focused on your forehead) or is it tilted in an awkward direction (like looking up your nose)? Every time I return my laptop to my desk and reposition the camera, I double check the positioning is right before I jump into my next virtual meeting.

Remember that you only have one chance to make a first impression and that utilizing your KOL’s time wisely may change the opportunity to build a relationship.

·      Set up a meeting with a colleague to test your technology if you’ve changed your equipment or are using new software… colleagues make a better audience when technical glitches occur, may offer solutions, and provide a less stressful environment while you’re muddling through the challenges.

·      Dial into a meeting with yourself using a secondary device such as a laptop, tablet, or phone to see how you look and sound, simulating the technology you will be using during the big meeting.

Managing vs Leading

There is an important difference between ‘managing the talk’ and ‘leading the discussion.’

Managing to me seems to be about controlling who says what, when, and in effect, corralling all the voices. It does not often lead to a conclusion so…”we better meet again next week!”

Leading the discussion has to do with finding the common element, the issue at hand, the ‘one thing’ that is vital to the effort. While data points are presented and debated, the leader, regardless of their position or status, is the one who can go beneath and beyond the data and relate the ‘story’ that points the way.

2+2 might be 4 or in some cases 22 or in others the entirely wrong equation to be considering. It is the manager who allows the debate to rage (respectfully) among the experts. The leader, however, tells the story of the equation, has a uniting example, speaks to the overriding issue.

Dr. Frank Dono worked at Ohio Health well into his 80’s as a teacher and physician executive and concluded every meeting with a short, impassioned speech to remind us, “Today we talked about finances, but we are really talking about patients, the quality of their care, the safety we provide, the mercy we show.” Every meeting. (It was said as he was being wheeled on a gurney during a heart attack that he was calmly instructing the new resident what to do giving her the confidence to do her best for her teacher!) Till the end! Wow.

Connecting with your virtual audience tip #2

In this series, we’re reviewing some simple tricks to remove obstacles for connecting with our virtual audience.

There are many memes about having a professional presence on top and a party on the bottom, and my suspicion this isn’t far from true (are you wearing pajama bottoms right now?). Maintaining the professionalism you have in person, even if you are sitting comfortably at home, is important. This includes not only your clothes but also your posture!

·        Dress to impress by wearing solid colors with minimal pattern to avoid becoming a kaleidoscope in the camera. Ensure that your camera placement or movement catches only what you want the audience to see. I find that dressing professionally – including proper pants –  helps me feel and act more professional. Sit up tall, shoulders back, with your feet on the floor to present confidence that will be evident on camera. I find standing helps in my posture and we’ve learned it is better for our health.

How are you setting the stage for a professional engagement to gain trust from your KOLs? We only have one opportunity to make a first impression so putting our best foot forward during virtual meetings will lay the groundwork for our future interactions.

·        Put your distractions aside (this means your phone too!) and give the meeting your full attention like you would do during an in-person meeting. Implementing these ideas and overlaying your active listening skills will increase your presence and foster trust with your KOLs.

Sitting in a quiet environment is obviously ideal, but perhaps not always possible. When the doorbell rings, does your dog go berserk? Perhaps you’re stuck at the airport due to a delayed flight? Recognizing you can’t always control the noise, what steps can you take to minimize it?

·         If your dog is a barker, consider putting them in a different place in the house (or outside) for an important meeting. You can never predict when you’re going to get a delivery! If you’re home with others who can’t predict when you’re on a call, hang a “on a call” sign on your door so that important KOL receives your full attention. At an airport? Can you move away from an active gate to a quiet corner? Sit in your rental car for the meeting? Get an airport lounge pass for the call?

Connecting with your virtual audience Tip #1

Love or hate virtual meetings, they have become a normal part of our lives as MSLs. You may feel that it is more difficult to build relationships with people through remote interactions, but the good news is that it doesn’t need to be! In this series, we’ll review some simple tricks to remove obstacles for connecting with our virtual audience.

We take many things into consideration when we meet someone in person, and virtual meetings demand the same mindfulness! Are you giving virtual meetings that level of attention?

Eye contact is critical for you to build trust while also being seen as authentic and present. Have you spent a virtual meeting looking at the side of the presenter’s face or worse, up their nose due to camera placement? Do better!

·        Place your camera at eye level and look through the camera for the best engagement, just like you would when talking in person (meaning, don’t stare into the camera for 30 minutes straight!). I use a Center CamTM because it sits partway down my screen, allowing me to look at the person directly when I “pin” the other person or presenter on my screen. The bonus is that this camera placement also allows me to see their reactions and read their body language during our conversation.

Are you going to be sharing your screen and want to continue to see the audience (ideal!)? While using a second monitor is helpful, it facilitates the need to look to the side.

·        Use the option to share only the program (i.e. PowerPoint) and not your desktop. This allows you to decrease the size of the slides and position them near your camera. You can then have your audience visible on another part of your screen. You can also hide the non-video participants so the space is given to those who are on camera.

What message does your background send? Have you dialed into a meeting and spent the entire time trying to determine what all the tchotchkes are on the bookshelves behind the presenter? I have! And while doing so, I’m certain I missed salient points of the discussion.

·        Avoid a cluttered background that will distract your audience from you and your message. Choose only a few items to be visible and be deliberate with your choices to ensure each item represents your “brand.” Ensure that nothing is sticking out of your head or popping over your shoulder when you move. Consider including something personal that will facilitate a discussion. If you’re struggling with this adjustment, consider turning your desk or starting with a clean slate and adding items in over time.

Reminding ourselves of a word

Sometimes we are nervous at meetings, giving a presentation, when our job is on the line, when all around us are losing their heads! It can feel as if we are out of control, and we look like that too.

What if, instead of feeling ‘nervous’ you reminded yourself that you were ‘excited’ about what was to come? What if, instead of worry, you decided to commit with energy to the message you wanted to convey? What if, instead of attempting to please or placate to avoid a critical reaction, you garnered your confidence and your courage to say what you know you want to say, to ask the question you’d like to discuss, to move toward a long-awaited resolution deeply and heart-felt needed between you?

We can change how we feel by reminding ourselves of a word!