Collaborate Instead of Author

Although you may be the expert, the teacher, the author, the parent or the partner, work to be collaborative instead of authoritative. Yes, you and I have expertise, we all do at one level or another. Economists, physicians, historians, and philosophers know much more about their field than I will ever know. But so does the window washer at O’Hare Airport as she effortlessly glides the tools of her trade over an expansive window.

When I meet and talk to anyone, I try to ask a question that hits at the heart of the full understanding they have. “What insight from your study of economics (or medicine etc.) excites you the most?” or “What is the secret to getting this window so clean and so fast?” (Apparently wrist action and the secret formula in the bucket!)

Even if I knew the essence of any of these endeavors it is better to allow the other person to be my teacher than for me to “know it all.” And when you or I really are the expert in the room, refuse to act as if you are. Instead combine, collaborate, cooperate, and connect with their expertise. Imagine the result then!

Listen a bit more deeply!

A Catholic bishop friend of mine told me that he was with the Pope Benedict many years ago shortly after he was elected. I asked my friend what he was like. He said: "A few of us were sitting around asking him questions. One of the bishops asked him a question which he answered. Then, Kevin, he leaned forward looking at that same bishop and said, “But bishop I heard another question you didn’t ask me, would you like to ask me that question now?” I can only imagine the bishops looking at one another and saying, “That is so cool!” (Only in Latin!)

What is the question beneath the question that you hear…or want to ask?

Think Beyond the Normal

Think beyond the normal! Nido Qubein, President of High Point University is a master of the language that cuts through complexity to clarity. To help us focus he uses word pairing to teach. The difference between training and education for example. Or the difference between success and significance, fortune or fame. What are two words that have special meaning for you? Surviving or thriving? Work or career? Managing or leading? Self or other? Funeral or celebration of a life well lived?

One of my favorites comes from the famous Chicago psychiatrist, Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs (1897-1972): “I listen to the tongue in the shoe not the tongue in the mouth. Feet only point in one direction; words can go anywhere!”

The best word pairings don't from Nido or Dr. Drekurs or me…but from your own thoughts, which may lead to action. Be a thought leader in your community and encourage others to stop and think in a new way.