Alfred Adler said there are three critical life tasks: work, love, and friendship. How are you doing with yours?
These life tasks will fluctuate over time. We move up and down, in and out, near and far from our goals. Yet they remain the tasks all of us must live with in our own way. They can also serve as a useful gauge of reliability in a person.
If you're in love, consider:
Does your intended have a job and a work history, or is there always an excuse?
Are they reliable in the task of love, giving a full 100% to match your own rather than settling for 50/50?
Do they have friends? Are they successfully connected to others, able to be independent of you while also connected with you?
"I thought he would change" is a common phrase heard by marriage counselors... and parents.
If these life tasks are not being met before marriage, they are quite unlikely to be met afterward.
